I’ve been told many times that I have episodes that comes and goes when everything my partner does just irritates me. And when I say irritates, I mean , irritates me so much that I just wanna shut down and scream. And it’s the smallest things too. But I guess we’re only human and not everything can be perfect all the time. And I think the biggest mistakes we make and maybe a thing that couples also fights about sometimes are the expectations that we have on ourselves and we expect our partner to have the same values and same way of thinking and logic.
it’s not always like that. We are all different and it’s easy to forget that when the situation gets heated and you are in the middle of a frustrating breakdown.
For me personally I let things build up until I just wanna explode. And when I finally wanna Adress the the topic that disturbs me . Instead of talking about it Calmly, I end up offloading so much steam that my partner feels attacked and criticized and all I wanted was to get my point through so that we can live and learn and move on.
believe me, I am probably not the easiest person to live with as I have very high standards, I like my space to be clean and neat, I’d like the florist to be free from dirty clothes and laundry.I expect my partner to be able to pick up after himself and to know where the trash is and not to leave things all over the house, that too much to ask?
So here is where the Clash might start because to me these things might seem like small things to some people, but to me these things are a lot of small things that piles up, and over time becomes a big problem and that is my problem because I’m the one ending up having to clean it up. And then I become the nag!! and I also don’t like repeating myself, I mean who Does??
So I think as women, we are naturally wired in our brains to multitask and somewhat be in a matter of control when it comes to house chores and getting ready, cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning and The minimum I expect in a partner that he is able to pick up after himself and assist in this so that I don’t have to nag about these things to start with. And at least have some common sense to think a little further .. like to put the lid back on or put stuff back where you found it. 🤷🏼♀️
To me these are basic things and basic knowledge that any human being should know and be aware about. Simple things . But I keep forgetting that we don’t come from the same places, we grow up in different cultures, some of us have parents who taught us to be responsible, independent , and some of us had parents who did everything for them. Hell some of us even had parents who didn’t do anything but had helpers that work around the house that did everything for them.
So I keep dealing with my anger issues (if you might call it that😂) and I keep forgetting that we don’t come from the same place, and we don’t even communicate in the same way. so it’s very easy to forget where we are standing and we keep forgetting that it’s us together as a team and we learn from each other and it’s not me against you or him against me but it’s all a learning curve every day. (Lol it’s not a competition about who is right and who’s wrong)
Now, that being said, it doesn’t mean that one person should take all the load and do everything around the house, it means that we need to communicate our expectations towards each other because otherwise you will have all these emotions and irritations building up and one day you will explode.
So next time you feel like you want to explode on your partner, take a deep breath, remember that you guys are not the same, and try to communicate better and if that doesn’t work you can try the mirroring method where you just do what he does(but we all know that living with a messy person that won’t work because it will pile up and it will drive you mad) 😂 and if that doesn’t work and you have the money to go for it then you hire a maid who can come help you out twice a week so you don’t have to feel everything is on you. Oh yeah and communication, talk in a calm way and be sensed because yelling and screaming will not get you anywhere. Trust me ☺️
And that was all that was on my mind today. I can go on and on about this topic 😂