100% honest about right now

Sometimes there are so many things going on at once that I get so overwhelmed and I can’t find words to put down and “sort everything out” in my head so that “I have control” over everything.

Like right now , in my life . There are so many things happening, I am for one waiting for a letter from courts that apparently takes forever to get alltho I went to court to request this letter weeks ago, and to have it signed and stamped by a judge so that things will go a little smoother in case I’m asked to show some verification of my case .. additional verification to the 500 pages of things I already have . .. (that’s what you’d think.. ) but apparently just to get a letter that is a statement , a legal and verified statement of things , takes forever. I don’t get it 😂 by now I’m sarcastically not sure wether I should laugh or cry about it. So I need to keep my head cool and just fill myself with more patience. I’m almost there . And that’s one thing ..

Second thing, I’m starting school on September 10th. And don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely NOT complaining and I am thrilled that I get to be more busy and I can fill my time with something meaningful and some soul food so that my brain can be stimulated again.

I am so so excited about this and I am really looking forward. And who knew that I was gonna go back to the school bench??… only took me 17 years 😂 but ain’t no shame in that! It’s never too late to do what you want to do. And the books I needed for school was not available to order from the book stores in Norway and to have them shipped here so I had to ask my family to ship it here .. it’s not the fastest way to get supplies when the postal time is about 3 weeks. Which in my case means that I’ll be (maybe) without the book for the first week of school… which is also ok. (No panic) But .. I’d like to dive in to things before I get started so I can have a clear vision in my head about moving forward and be prepared . (Again about my need for control I think ) so this gives me a tiny little blind spot ..in a way. Which makes me question… why doesn’t big book dealerships in Norway ship internationally in the first place ? Or the schools in Norway who offer online education have a solution for this- for their students abroad..?

Number 3) we literally just 2 days ago took on another adoptive dog. She is just 9 weeks old. And she demands so much attention and I am literally raising her on my own. The other person I live with is not so accommodating to me with these things and I really feel that everything is on my shoulders . And I really really hate it when people lack common sense and can’t think for themself for a while.

They will leave the house and just take it for granted that I am here to always sort everything. So now it’s like I have a child and 3 dogs and raising them all by myself (in terms of cooking and cleaning and telling people what to do and doing laundry , folding laundry, dog training and pee and poop cleaning and even picking up the trash and other chores) , I feel all alone in that because I do everything. (95% I do) Which normally I don’t complain about because I like the house to be tidy and clean.

So .. seriously when it’s me and I want to leave the house to go do something for 2 hours I can’t even have those 2 hours to myself before my phone rings and there is a disaster at home with some dog did this or that.. and I’m like … whyyyy does this never happen when the dogs are alone with me? And why do I have to come home to a house that is so messy and I have to start cleaning it right away? (I don’t think I have severe OCD but a healthy normal relationship to a hygienic and clean home is my standard norm!) oh and , Did I mention that we have a maid as well??

So sometimes it all just gets so overwhelming.. it will be fun to see how this week will turn out …

Wednesday and Thursday I have a shooting for two different clinics here in Dubai . And Thursday night I am hosting a dinner at home with guests … And tomorrow I am shooting a dress video for PLT… (pretty little thing) it’s like I do all these things and all the home things and gonna be going to school and raising the dogs and handling this bullshit case and it’s all at once just to mention a few and I am doing it all whilst being sleep deprived and by that I mean that I get maximum 4-5 h a sleep each night. I swear I should get paid a housewife salary for my efforts! 😂

but I just shut my mouth and let it pass because I just can’t deal with myself walking around being an irritated emotional bomb that will just go off at any time . Emotionally speaking 😂 so I shut it .

And yeah. That’s all for today!